When I found a quote that I liked, I added it to my ever growing list. And here is the list:
If you're going to criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile.
"Man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt woman doing it."
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're standing on.
The second thing to go is the memory. I can't remember what the first thing is.
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly
Two wrongs don't make a right. But three rights make a left
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If at first you don't succeed. . . Parachuting probably isn't for you.
As long as there are tests, There will be prayer in schools
I try to take one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
Never argue with a stupid person. First they'll drag you down to their level. And then they'll beat you with experience.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Imagination is more important than knowledge
"I know my friend will come for me. I have her watch."
Nothing would ever get done if it weren't for the last minute
Don't take life too seriously-it's not like you're getting out alive
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
Cats are smarter than dogs - you won't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still, nine times out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.
Today is a gift... that's why it's called the present
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and
there's barely enough room to swing a cat, let alone
spank a monkey